A New Look At Love

Can I just talk about love for a little bit?

My husband shows me immense love every day, but sometimes it takes something out of the ordinary for me to realize that.

Yesterday I had a horrible migraine. It hurt to even think. When I did manage to think, I was fantasizing about an elephant stepping on my head to crush out the pain- which is a little dramatic in retrospect, but hey, it’s how I felt. I didn’t even move from the couch once I stumbled out of the shower, except to cover my face with pillows because the living room was too bright. Now, usually, I have lunch all made and the table set when my love texts me that he’s coming home from work (such a blessing to spend his lunch break with him every day!). Obviously, yesterday was not one of those days. I didn’t even look at phone during that time so I didn’t know what time it was or when he was headed home.

As soon as he came in the door, my love put my care at the center of his focus. He brought me water, made me take medicine, gave me a massage, asked if I wanted him to call the chiropractor, and offered both heating and ice packs. He quickly ate lunch then came back to my side. He started a salt soak for me and brought it to my location on the couch so I wouldn’t have to move. He was going to end his work day early to come take care of me if I didn’t improve. He showed me such selfless love and did above and beyond what I needed him to.

The most striking part of the story to me is that I had treated this caring husband of mine really crappy the evening before.

I was indulging in selfish thinking, acting like that of a petulant pouting child, and shut down all the conversation my love tried to involve me in. By the end of the night I was in tears when I realized what I was doing and completely remorseful for my hurtful actions against him. Words couldn’t express how much I hated myself for acting like that, I couldn’t say “sorry” without it seeming quite lacking in meaning; I could not ask for forgiveness enough. All I did was cry and mumble and sob while he held me and let tears run their course. We ended the night on good terms, but I still felt miserable- this man is my best friend, soul mate, love, and husband! Why did I think it was okay to treat him so poorly and solely think of myself and what I felt like I wanted to do because part of me wasn’t happy?? Did I not just write about selfishness and defensiveness on this very blog?

And yet, he loved me. He did not return hurt for hurt or harm for harm. He did not hold my actions against me but showed me immense love and care that I wasn’t worthy of. He lived out the example of Christ and His love towards His messed up, selfish, disobedient, self-seeking sheep who always do the wrong thing and go their own way.

Marriage is a picture of Christ’s love to us, the Church. And every day, my husband’s love gives me a better understanding of that love.

I am always amazed when I become even more amazed at this beautiful thing called marriage and the wonder of a man I married. Through marriage Christ is revealing more and more of my sinful nature and my need for Him. Through marriage I am better learning what it is like to love in the true sense of the word. Through marriage I am becoming more and more thankful for the blessings my God has graciously bestowed upon me, my husband, and our life together.

I am getting a new look at love as I live this newlywed life. And I stand in awe of what God is doing.

Has your perspective of love changed with marriage? Have you had a marital experience that made you think of Christ’s love for us? I would love to hear about it in the comments!

Save Money- with NO Coupons

It’s been a very windy day here in our Wonderful Wurld- much moreso than any other day that I’ve lived here. It might not have been my best planning to attempt to go on an hour round trip to the grocery store solo today (I already hate driving 70 miles an hour, let alone having my car rocked the whole time). However, faced with two busy afternoons ahead serving at our home church, it was either go buy food or eat very small, sad meals the rest of the week and completely empty our cabinets and fridge.

So I made my list, attempted to set up my printer to print off a bunch of coupons, failed to set up said printer (that’s what happens when I procrastinate), promptly forgot the list on the counter, and made my way to through semi-truck heavy traffic. Thankfully, I had no troubles finding my way to the store (….this time-when I attempted this trip last week I failed and got lost), could sort of recall by memory my grocery list, and had my wonderful money-saving apps on hand.

If you are a newlywed wife like me, trying to save some money wherever you can, then you should have both ibotta and Checkout 51 apps downloaded on your phone (no, this is not a sponsored post- I just love them!). Checkout 51 can be used at any store; simply check off which items you might buy (it changes every week!) and once you purchase them, scan your receipt and make money! ibotta is similar, but it is organized by particular store (I use Walmart, Walgreens, and the Dollar Tree the most). Every item has a certain rebate attached to it (ranging from $.20-$3.00) and once you hit a certain amount of rebates earned, you can have it added to a Paypal account or uploaded to a gift card.

Each one has its perks over the other; but the best news is that you can use them together to get two times the money! Checkout 51 has a much smaller selection and a higher minimum amount ($20) but you have the freedom to buy things at any store- this really helps me since the stores closest to me are not available on ibotta. ibotta does have a much greater product choice and you can make money faster- plus they run promotions where you get extra rebate money for hitting certain goals! However, to unlock most rebates for items you have to answer a simple poll question or watch a 30 second video whereas with Checkout 51 you simply click to unlock.

How great is it that you can earn some money on purchases you have to make anyway? I think it’s awesome! Between both apps and just two weeks of a little grocery shopping, I have made almost $10! And that’s with me not using any other coupons in conjunction with the apps.

If you are interested in trying it out ibotta, click here or download the app. You can enter the referral code kxgegsq and we will become friends on the app and help make each other money as a team!

For Checkout 51, click here or download the app (you get a bonus $1 just for signing up!).

I wanted to share these apps because I feel a little satisfaction every time I scan an item and save some money- and I want you to feel that too! Eventually, as I learn more of the tricks of the trade of couponing, I will save more money and share what I have learned. For now, though, I am happy with the little progress I have made- and my love thinks it is awesome.

Do you have any money-saving tips or helpful apps you use? I would love to hear about it in the comments!

Happy 2 Months! A Look Back

Today marks two months of blissful marriage to the love of my life!

It is crazy how two months seems like two years’ worth of adventures, memories, and marriage! I had no idea what marriage would be like, but my few fuzzy, pessimistic views of what it could be have been completely turned around and proven false. Marriage is amazing, my husband is far more fantastic than I ever thought, and our life is a wonderful world that Christ has richly blessed. Today I am offering praise upon praise for all our God has given to, provided for, guided through, and revealed to us in the last two months. My relationship with my husband has grown deep roots and has blossomed into more than I ever thought could be possible; my Savior has worked endlessly on my heart through marriage; and I look to the future with excitement and amazement that our journey together has only just begun!

Today, as I look back through our wedding pictures, I am particularly marveling at just how many months of planning, preparation, and hard work that went into the wedding were so quickly forgotten as we moved on from engagement to marriage. But how much that work consumed me a few months ago! I wanted our wedding to be pretty and perfect, something remembered by friends and family, and something that showcased the sweet love between me and my husband-to-be.

Tomorrow my topic is going to be Pinterest Pining- Discovering Discontentment, as it was an important lesson I learned during the wedding planning process. So today I thought it fitting to show the results of what all my Pinterest planning for the wedding came to. We were on a tight budget so I made everything myself, from the bunting, to the sweetheart table, to all the flower arrangements, to the wedding programs. We used all the old handkerchiefs I had collected through the years- as well as other antique doilies and fabric coverings- to decorate with, as well as ball jars and white vases I had been hoarding and buying for cheap at thrift stores. I made cards with verses pertaining to love and marriage to place on all the tables, inside which our guests could write well-wishes or advice for us newlyweds. And lots of chalkboards to direct our guests! The end result was far better than I could have ever dreamed- even if it took us two days to decorate the old, outdated, ugly church basement.

Tonight my love and I will celebrate this little milestone in our life together and laugh at how far we have already come in such a short time. I cannot wait to look back years from now and smile at our relationship and all the changes and challenges we have made and tackled together. What a Wonderful W(u)rld we are living in!

What Marriage Has Made Different : Scariness

New beginnings, new surroundings, new habits- new life!

If you are a fan of change outside your control, raise your hand.

I don’t think many honest people would raise their hand; at the very least, not introverts like myself.

For the majority of people, comfort is found in the ordinary, the everyday routines, the normal. Change is frowned upon, disliked, or at least found as slightly inconvenient. But life is always changing, things are always different; so we learn to adjust, get comfortable again, and move on to the next change.

I am one of the people who would rather resist a change than joyfully accommodate it. I am always a little scared of change, just because I am not used to the results of whatever the new change brings. I am a perfectionist who desires routine so that I may exceed at that level of normal. Change is messy and uncertain. Sometimes it is a fun challenge, but other times- most times- it is a task that must be begrudgingly completed.

So what happened when my job, schedule, schooling, location, traveling, shopping, family, and lifestyle habits were all drastically changed at once? Insert fear, apprehension, worry, fear, stress, panic, fear, uncertainty, negativity, and did I mention fear? Though I only slightly exaggerate (I was very excited and elated to be marrying my best friend, even if all these changes were to follow), dealing with my fear about all the changes in my life was actually a huge part of the engagement period. I didn’t allow myself to enjoy the feeling of being engaged to my love for more than the first day, really- I was too busy stressing about the upcoming changes in my life, planning and executing our wedding within five months, and trying to finish up my four year degree with straight A’s. Besides coming to grips with the fact that I was going to become a wife (scary enough on its own!), I was constantly faced with the truth that MY WHOLE LIFE WAS ABOUT TO CHANGE IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. I could not list one thing in my life that was going to stay the same; and that was very scary to me.

Obviously, I have adjusted to my newlywed life- and I am so very happy, if not content, with how my life is right now. The change was scary. It remodeled my whole life. But all the change was not impossible, it did not destroy anything, and it was not insurmountable. Therefore, my practical advice for a soon to-be-bride or anyone about to encounter numerous changes would be this: take things slow. Don’t look at all the changes at once for very long- you will get too overwhelmed! Rather, take things slow by looking at once change at a time, plan out what adjusting to the change one day at a time looks like, and then start to ready your mind for that change. After that, move to the next big change. Break things down to manageable parts. Journal your thoughts. Know that it is okay to cry (just don’t stay in that overwhelmed state!). Talk to a loved one about what you are going through. Ask for prayer. I think I asked my mom to help speak positive truth into my life (at least I know she did on many occasions!) but to also understand what I was going through mentally and know that sometimes I just needed a big hug, some tissues, and lots of prayer.

Oh, another important piece of advice; BREATHE. Everything is going to work itself out; remember that you are not the master of your own universe. God is. And, if at the end of this period in your life you are married to your best friend, then all the important stuff happened :). I am not discounting the fear of all the changes- goodness, I have certainly faced fears that are very real- but I want to remind you that it is going to be okay. Trust God. Ask for His peace. Ask for His guidance. Ask for help from people around you. You don’t have to do everything by yourself!

Looking back from where I am now to several months ago, I have to chuckle at myself and how young I seemed. I was so scared and apprehensive about the unknown; but, now that I am living in what was unknown, I can say with confidence that God worked all things together for my good and His glory. Do I still get nervous about continued changes? Of course! But I can look to a huge point of change and uncertainty in my life and clearly see that my God brought me through it and was my comfort and peace. God used the drastic changes in my life to build my trust and reliance on Him, for I had no one else to turn to (He alone knows the future, after all!). My God proved Himself yet again to be faithful, to be my loving Father who provides all my needs, to be my Anchor and Strength, to be my everything. Looking back now, I wouldn’t change any of the changes! The work that Christ did in my life through the whole process is well worth the worry and stress of those moments.

Married life is wonderful. Being a wife isn’t as scary as I thought it would be! It comes naturally out of the love and care I have for my husband and out of the work God is constantly working in my life. I was so worried about my performance as a wife that I forgot it wasn’t about a title as much as it was relationship! As we learned in premarital counseling, if we as individuals are seeking to put Christ at the center of our lives and grow closer in our walk with Him, our relationship to each other will grow closer and sweeter. And, my husband is such a sweet, loving, godly man, it is easy to show him love and be his wife :).

Overcoming the scariness of being married was certainly a big lesson I had to learn. But tomorrow I will be discussing another lesson just as important: learning to Savor all our moments as husband and wife!

Was there an aspect of your engagement or newlywed life that was scary for you? How did you overcome your fear? I’d love to read your experience in the comments!

What Marriage Has Made Different : Sacredness

According to the Oxford dictionary, the definition of sacred is as follows;
• Connected with God or dedicated to a religious purpose and so deserving veneration
• Religious rather than secular
• Regarded with great respect and reverence by a particular religion group or individual

Before marriage, I don’t recall thinking of marriage itself as sacred. I would have described it as important, special, a holy union, and pleasing to God, maybe, but not necessarily sacred. However, if I had understood the definition in light of scripture differently, I might’ve reached that conclusion sooner. Marriage was the first institution that God gave to man; marriage and family were created and commanded by God before sin had marred creation. In the Gospels, like this passage in Matthew, we see that God names Himself responsible for joining husband and wife together and commands their forever union.

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Matthew 19:4-6 And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate”.

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God also commands marriage to be held in high honor, among every one and all things. Not only is marriage a holy union given by God, but it is also to remain holy in the utmost definition by both husband and wife; Hebrews describes this as undefiled. Marriage is to remain pure between husband and wife and in their testimony of their institution, with nothing for others to doubt, slander, or think poorly of.

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Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

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Not only does God give such weight and sacredness to marriage, but He also uses marriage as a picture of Christ and the church. I am to joyfully be under submission to my husband to the same degree I am to joyfully submit to Christ. My husband has the weighty responsibility to love me as Christ loves the church, sacrificially, completely, purely, and in a way that makes it easy for me to be holy and blameless in my submission to him. Just this passage alone- knowing that our marriage is to represent to others Christ and the Church- places such an importance of sacredness and holiness in marriage. It humbles me in my attitude and actions, challenging me to think of how I am serving in my role.

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Ephesians 5:22-27 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.

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When it came time to plan out our wedding ceremony, my love and I both prioritized placing in Christ at the center of our day and giving our covenant of marriage the sense of seriousness and holiness God commanded. We wrote out our vows with a forever covenant in mind. We wanted Christ to be glorified, to be the focus, and to be the center of our ceremony, our day, and our marriage. Although I knew the Scriptures stated above and understood that marriage was a sacred union, I now know that I did not give marriage the weight of seriousness, God-given blessing, and meaning it deserves. There is something special about being married; I never expected the way “being married” would feel. I take the responsibility of marriage so much more seriously now.

Not only has God Himself joined us together, giving and entrusting us into this holy covenant, but He has charged us with being a living testimony of Christ and the Church.

If that isn’t an awesome responsibility, a sacred and holy calling, I don’t know what is. I stand amazed at what God is doing in our lives together as husband and wife, praying that He will continue to guide and grow us into godly testimonies that point others to Him.

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Marriage is Sacred! But marriage has also brought about many other lessons and challenges in my newlywed life. Tomorrow I’m digging into the Scariness that came with marriage- so check back then!

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Have there been moments in your life when you saw marriage as especially sacred? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!