Today I want to continue my blog series with how marriage has changed my perspective on things- especially marriage itself! I didn’t know that marriage would be so sweet.
As a single and even engaged woman, my expectations for marriage were quite different and defined quite opposite of the word “sweet“. My love and I had never fought during our dating or engagement days, so I suspected that marriage would bring about many new arguments, stressful situations, challenges, and some hurtful moments; overall, I believed it would take quite a learning curve to get to the point of “enjoying” marriage. I think these beliefs were rooted in society’s view on marriage. How often do we hear positive stories about a husband and wife and their life together? Or of the sweetness that comes with marriage? Too often we only hear- and are frequently bombarded with- a negative view of marriage; arguments, hurt feelings, disagreements, frustrations, and unsettle-able differences that lead to one or both parties giving up hope and moving on. Though I was raised with a strong Christian background and grew up believing that marriage was the best way to live life, these fears of society’s view of our upcoming reality definitely had an impact on my perspective of what marriage would be like. Every time my love said something positive about what he was looking forward to in marriage, I always felt the need to bring a “sense of reality” to the conversation – usually something negative. “Now, you don’t know that it’s going to be like that“, and “Things are going to be a lot harder than we both are expecting“, or “You don’t know that for sure- we’re just going to have to see how things go“. Marriage was going to be hard, right? I did not want to get his hopes up- or mine for that matter.
The truth: marriage is so much more amazing than I could’ve imagined. Does it involve diligent work from both parties? Yes. Hard work is needed in marriage, but marriage is not hard.
Not only have I grown to a clearer perspective on marriage, but I also have grown closer to my best friend and realized just how sweet and amazing he is. I have learned so much more about my love in this last month of marriage. We had only known each other one year from when we first met to our engagement, and then only five months between engagement and marriage. Obviously the first period of our relationship was spent getting to know the basics about each other, building a friendship, and deciding we wanted to spend the rest of our lives getting to know each other better. But now that we are married and have spent so much more quality time together, I feel like I’m married to a different man- in the best way. I’ve seen the deeper purpose and strength of characteristics in my love this past month. He is quietly reflective and puts so much thought into each opinion, looking at things with a different perspective before discounting a thought. He gets excited about new spiritual discoveries, like connecting two concepts or passages in Scripture or taking away a practical application from what we have just read in our Bible. He inspires me to look at Scripture with fresh eyes, to ask questions and seek out answers for myself. He searches out and speaks of the positive when I only see the negative in situations. He stands up for those who would otherwise be cast down or not considered, thinking compassionately and with the love of Christ. He values the lives of others dearly, including all animals, with such a sweet care. Everything that I saw and loved about him before we married has only deepened in the last month. The more I see of and understand my love, the more I fall in love with the man he is and how God is working in his life. God has blessed me with a man whose heart is filled with sweetness and whose love for others is seen in all his actions.
Not only has marriage changed my perspective on marriage, and see a deeper sweetness in my husband, but I also grew to a sweeter understanding of my Savior’s love for me. Because of the way that I was raised, I’ve always known that marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church; however, I didn’t understand how I could better see that picture when in a marriage myself. But my loving husband has shown so much self-sacrificing love to me that I’ve gained a better glimpse of Christ’s love. There are too many examples of how my husband shows me this kind of love, but here are a few examples; when he comes home after a long day at work and cares for me when I’m out with a migraine, I see his sacrificing love. When he declines an offer for something he thought would be fun after seeing my unspoken apprehension, I see him sacrificing for me. When he leaves me notes to remind me of his love, or notes that thank me for the little things I try to do, I see his tender love for me. When he works hard so I can stay at home, when he prays for me and my needs, when he leads me spiritually, when he pursues me and seeks to know my emotions; in all these ways and many more, I see my husband’s great love for me and a glimpse of the sacrificial love of Christ. Every day I better see how much my Savior loves me through the love of my husband and it urges me to pursue my relationship with Christ and praise Him for all he has done for me. My spiritual life has deepened so much this last month and as my understanding of my Savior’s sacrifice and love grows, so grows my love for my Savior.
I am so excited that this is just the beginning of our journey together into marriage and cannot imagine how much sweeter it will become! Married life has brought so many lessons and perspective changes! I am growing more in love with my husband every day and learning more about myself, my love, and my Savior. Tomorrow I’ll expand more on the Sacredness I have learned of in marriage- so check back then!
Did you discover any sweet surprises in your marriage? I would love to hear about it in the comments!
newlyweddedwurl 